How should I react to my child’s report card?

Parents

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Why is the reaction to the report card important?

The parent’s reaction has a significant impact. The parents are role models. Because of that, children register their reactions, their words and their emotions, and that all contributes to their self-confidence.

Regardless of your child’s school results, they need:

your support
your love
your encouragement

It is essential that they know they can count on you and that you will help them find solutions if they need them.

A shock? Let’s put things in perspective.

Bad results can make you sad or disappointed. However, it is worth taking the time to listen to your child and help them so they manage to persevere and keep believing in their ability to succeed.

A bad note is not the end of the world! It’s more of a little red flag. If we listen to them, help them and encourage them, young people will manage to overcome the challenges they face. Let’s be constructive and compassionate!

Alloprof Parents

The four steps to prepare to react to the report card

1 • Take the time to look at the report card alone, without your child

Taking the time to look at the report card alone means giving yourself the right to react, to express your emotions.
That will help you react in a less negative or rushed manner.

Take that time to:

Analyze your emotions
Are you proud, disappointed, concerned?
Remember
How did your parents react to your report cards? What helped you? And what discouraged you?

This is a good habit to take, even if you don’t anticipate any challenges or problems.

2 • Take a moment to think about it before discussing it with your child

To help you approach the subject in a more serene and constructive manner, think about what you want to communicate to your child.

By knowing what you’re going to say in advance, you will be able to keep a compassionate attitude, especially if the results are not as good as expected.

3 • Create a compassionate discussion space with your child so they can speak their mind freely

Let your child speak freely about their report card.

By looking at the report card with them:

Ask questions:
“What do you think?”
“What parts seemed easy or hard?”
“What are your goals for the next report card?”
Highlight: “I’m proud of your efforts in this subject. You really made progress in that subject!”
Favour collaboration:
“How can I help you reach your goals? What can we put in place to help you?”

To do: Listen, ask questions to further the reflection, recognize and value the efforts and improvements
To avoid: Blame them, offer rushed solutions

4 • Remember that, and emphasize to your child that, a result does not define their value

Support them in their school path and remind them that they are worth much more than a report card.

Encourage their passions and talents, school is a part of their life, not all of it!

Sometimes, the child may not have provided the efforts required, or they may have lacked organization. It’s important to make efforts to take an interest in their school journey, and emphasize their accomplishments, even if we are shocked.

Not everything is going wrong! You have to help your child see their successes, their strengths, and highlight everything that’s going well!

Some more tips

Be honest with your child. That helps them have a realistic perception of their skills, and better self-confidence.
Even if their report card shows the class average, measure your child’s progress by comparing them to themself, not to the class average.
Avoid material rewards, especially if they were already promised. It could be effective in the short-term, but it doesn’t teach the child to find the motivation to do what needs to be done. It could lead to problems taking responsibilities or working by themself.
- What should I do, then? You can celebrate your child’s efforts or plan an activity (like a special evening or a pajama party) to highlight the end of the semester. This allows you to focus on the accomplishments.
If your child continues to have problems in certain school subjects, speak with their teacher. Ensure good communication with that person, to make sure you work together at finding the best solution for your child.

What to do next, during the rest of the school year?

If you are worried by your child’s school results, you can show them how important their school success is to you, while also helping them take more responsibility for their studies. To achieve this, you can:

supervise homework time;
help them organize their homework;
ask their teacher how to help them at home;
find solutions to the problems that may impact their results (lack of concentration, lack of sleep, problems with friends, etc.);
make homework time more dynamic (use interactive apps, for example);
etc.

Alloprof Parents

Remember

When you receive your child’s report card, remember that not every child has an easy time learning.
It’s important to encourage your child and congratulate them for their efforts and progress, instead of their results.
Your child needs your support and your love, regardless of their school results.
It’s more important to make sure your child enjoys going to school and learns new things than focusing on their results.

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